Defeated

I’m reminded by people {my mother mostly} that these are the best days of my life; the midnight wake-ups, the diapers, the tantrums. Well I found it hard to find the joy in it all today. By noon the children had declared victory and I was waving a white flag.

Between potty training and timeouts this boy has me running on empty. I feel like the only words coming out of my mouth are, “do you have to go peepee?” and “NOooooo!”

I constantly struggle with the concept of spanking. I just don’t know if these timeouts are actually working. The very idea of spanking Timmy can bring me to tears but I turn around and there he is toy hammering Grace’s head!

Folding laundry is a family affair. They both think they are being very helpful.

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He tells me he’s folding the clothes as he very carefully rolls them into a ball and piles them on the table. If Timmy is doing something, there’s Grace right behind him.

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Me and Timmy were in a stand off over food today. His choice of foods he will actually eat has narrowed down to peanut butter on a spoon and gummy bears. It’s very frustrating. I’m pretty sure my Dad is laughing at me when he hears me struggling over his food issues. He says I was the same way and that all kids are the same. Timmy skipped breakfast all together because the waffles and strawberries were “yucky” and so was his water?! Lunch he took a bite of his grilled cheese and spit it out but did eat the strawberries from breakfast. By dinner time he was starving so he ate allllll of his fish sticks and even asked for more “chicken” šŸ™‚

Nap time is a nightmare. He kicks and screams so much that I’m afraid he’s going to hurt himself. I’ve tried going without naps but he ends up passing out around 5:30 and then he’s wide awake at 3am. Today he actually kicked down his gate but didn’t dare come out of his room. I guess he could sense that I was on the edge. Smart move. He eventually fell asleep and for 3 hours.

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Terrible twos are no joke and it really makes you question your parenting skills, but by the end of the day I felt accomplished. We had a lot of fun in the sprinkler, the laundry did eventually get folded, the house was mostly in order and everyone was fed and bathed.

Being mom to these two busy babies is an honor and a privilege but it is not without it’s hardwork and challenges. It’s giving of your whole self, the whole time. And when you get a moment alone, you sit and wonder if you’re doing it right.

I hope I am.

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